# All spelling mistakes and broken english are intentional!
# I hate saving paper contents in ftl files

## Headers and reusable elements

-delivery-header-nanotrasen = [color=blue]
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-delivery-header-nanotrasen-alternate-timeline = [color=red]
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-delivery-header-syndicate = [color=#ff0000]
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## Spam letters

delivery-spam-1 =   Robust Toolbox - Special Offer!
    .desc =         An advertisement for robust toolboxes.
    .content =      [color=blue][head=1]
                    ░░▄▀░░
                    ░▄█▄▄▀ [head=3]ROBUST - TOOLBOXES AND TOOLS[/head]
                    ██▀░░░ [/head][/color]

                    {"[bold]BUY ONE TOOLBOX, GET ONE SET OF TOOLS FOR FREE![/bold]"}

                    AS YOU ARE ONE OF OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS, YOU GET A CUSTOMER BONUS, YOUR TOOLS COME RUST AND LEAD-FREE!!! ISN'T THAT AMAZING? THE TOOLBOX ON THE OTHER HAND, COMES WITH EXTRA LEAD! AMAZING FOR SMASHING SKULLS AND STOPPING RADIATION ALIKE!

                    {"[bold]ALL THIS AND POSSIBLY MORE FOR ONLY ONE ORGAN![/bold]"}

                    ROBUST - TOOLBOXES AND TOOLS:%
                    -LEAD AND ASBESTOS FREE!
                    -OR WITH LEAD AND ASBESTOS, IF YOU PREFER!
                    -CHEAP! ONLY ONE ORGAN! THAT'S LESS THAN TWO ORGANS!
                    -DOESN'T HAVE TO BE YOUR ORGAN! WE DON'T JUDGE!

delivery-spam-2 =   Reasons to choose Nanotrasen!
    .desc =         An advertisement for Nanotrasen.
    .content =      {-delivery-header-nanotrasen}

                    {"[head=2]TOP THREE REASONS WHY THE SYNDICATE IS INCOMPETENT[/head]"}

                    {"[bold]NUMBER ONE[/bold]"}
                    THEIR SLEEPER AGENTS ARE INCOMPETENT! THEY CAN'T EVEN KILL A PASSENGER WITH A DEATHWISH!

                    {"[bold]NUMBER TWO[/bold]"}
                    THEIR CIVILIANS ARE WEAK TO BULLETS! TRUST ME, WE TRIED! UNLIKE THE NANOTRASEN CIVILIANS, SYNDICATE CIVILIANS DIE FROM A BULLET TO THE SKULL! BULLETS WE HAVE!

                    {"[bold]NUMBER THREE[/bold]"}
                    THEIR LOGO IS HORRIBLE! THEY THINK THEY'RE COOL WITH THEIR LOGO! OOH, LOOK AT ME, I'M SO COOL! OOH, SNAKE THAT'S ALSO AN S! HOW CREATIVE! MY THREE YEAR OLD SON COULD DRAW A BETTER LOGO!

delivery-spam-3 =   Reasons to choose The Syndicate!
    .desc =         An advertisement for The Syndicate.
    .content =      {-delivery-header-syndicate}

                    {"[head=2]TOP THREE REASONS WHY NANOTRASEN IS INCOMPETENT[/head]"}

                    {"[bold]NUMBER ONE[/bold]"}
                    THEIR GUNS SUCK! THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE SNIPER RIFLES! THEIR SECURITY FORCES CAN'T EVEN CARRY BIG GUNS IN MOST SITUATIONS!

                    {"[bold]NUMBER TWO[/bold]"}
                    THEIR COMMANDERS? THEY DIE FROM A SINGLE SHOT! NO COOL ARMOR! JUST BANG, DEAD! LAME! OUR COMMANDERS GET COOL HARDSUITS!

                    {"[bold]NUMBER THREE[/bold]"}
                    THEIR MURDER METHODS ARE UNINSPIRED! IT'S JUST GUN! THERE'S NO THROWING PEOPLE INTO DEEP SPACE, NO FEEDING PEOPLE INTO RECYCLERS WITH SAFETY MODE DISENGAGED, NO SLIPPING BOMBS INTO POCKETS! SO BORING!

delivery-spam-4 =   Tired of science blowing up?
    .desc =         Follow these simple steps to ensure it never happens again!
    .content =      [head=3]Science will LOVE you for this!!

                    are [bold]YOU[/bold] Tired of your Station's Science Department blowing up withoutdoing any actual science?
                    Well Your in luck![/head]

                    Folow this simple guide, and we'll ensure your Science [italic]Never Works Again![/italic]

                    Simply do the following:
                    - Step One: Locate your Science Department's Research Server
                    - Step Two: Un-anchor the Research Server from the ground
                    - Step Three: Hurl the Research Server into space, preferably in the direction of the Spider Clan Super Secret Space Dojo
                    - Step Four: Wait appproximately 3-5 Business Shifts
                    - Step Five: Our Workers at Spid-ex Inc will provide your station with one (1) techdisk per week.

                    {"[color=lightgray]Note: Spider Clan is not responsible for any punishment issued by your supervisors.[/color]"}

delivery-spam-5 =   FREE ALL AXCESS!!
    .desc =         Did you ever want free all access?!
    .content =      [head=3]Have You ever wanted to have [italic][color=green]Free [bold]All Axcess!?!?[/bold][/color][/italic][/head]
                    {"[head=2]Well NOW YOU CAN!![/head]!"}

                    All you need to do is call [color=blue]555-GOUR-LECKSSS[/color] and state your Staton ID# !!!
                    Once youve done that,  we can simply remotely query the wallet of Yourstation's Cargo department, extacting our required fees of three [italic] EASY[/italic] payments, allowing you to claim your
                    {"[head=2][color=green] [bolditalic] FREE AA!!!!!!!!!![/bolditalic][/color][/head]"}


                    {"[color=gray]"}
                    {"[bullet/]Note: station ID must be stated in the format of \"NT/NX - ###\""}
                    {"[bullet/]Note: Payments lodged to the client's station's cargo department amount to roughly $5000 spesos per transaction, not including individual processing fees"}
                    {"[bullet/]Note: We at Gour-Lecksss LMT. are not responsible if your station's HoP forces you to fill out an ACTUAL Free AA form if they find out about this letter"}
                    {"[/color]"}

delivery-spam-6 =   NOTICE FROM NANOTRASN!!
    .desc =         An official notice from the CEO of Nanotrasn?!
    .content =      [color=red] THIS IS AN OFICAL NOTICE FROM THE HEAD OF [color=blue]NANOTRASN[/color][/color]

                    Dear Sir, Madam, or Other Insignificat station personell

                    If you do not wish for this station to be declared Unprofitable in the eyes of
                    {"[head=2][italic] Our Great and Glorious [color=blue]Nanotransen[[/color][/head]"}
                    Then you must organize for three [color=blue]Nt[/color] Standard Stacks of [color=blue]nt[/color] Standard Gold Ingots to be sent to your station's Away Trade Outpots within 5 [color=blue]nT[/color] Standard work shifts.

                    {"[head=2][color=red]IGNORE THIS ORDER AT RISK OF RETRIBUTON FROM [color=green]CENTCO[/color]!!!!![/head][/color]"}

delivery-spam-7 =   Send reinforcements!
    .desc =         An official notice from... an alternate timeline?
    .content =      {-delivery-header-nanotrasen-alternate-timeline}
                    {"[head=2]This is an official notice from the [color=red]Chief Security Officer[/color] at a Nanotrasen's Space Station 15.[/head]"}

                    To whoever receives this letter. I am Sergeant Rigel. My occupation is the CSO. We need immediate assistance.

                    Our station is currently under attack by Atomic Agents, this letter is being thrown into a destabilized bluespace anomaly created by our [color=purple]Head of Research[/color].

                    I am currently bolted in the Bridge, if you receive this message, please send aid immediately. I don't know how much longer we can last.

                    Glory to Nanotrasen.

delivery-spam-8 =   The Children of Nar'Sie
    .desc =         A local cult is looking for recruits.
    .content =      [color=#134975][head=2]The Children of Nar'Sie[/head][/color]
                                                    The Beginning of a New Era
                    {"[bold]══──══──══──══──══──══──══──══──══──══──══[/bold]"}

                    {"[head=3]Do you feel lost in the vastness of our cosmos?[/head]"}
                    In the modern era, it's easy for wayward souls to feel like cogs in the machine of vast corporations.

                    {"[head=3]Do you feel as if you're made for a better purpose?[/head]"}
                    Do you tire of the life of mundanity forced upon you? Mopping floors, delivering boxes, or filling out endless paperwork?

                    {"[head=3]Do you want to make the galaxy a better place?[/head]"}


                    If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, then contact one of our representatives today! We have members across stations all over the galaxy eager to welcome new members into our flock. Be one of the blades that helps welcome the Geometer of Blood into our universe so that all may know his bliss!

                    All you have to do is say [color=#FF0000][italic]"Sas'so c'arta forbici!"[/italic][/color]

delivery-spam-9 =   Do you want to fight?!
    .desc =         Advertisement for a local fighting club.
    .content =      [color=#aaaaaa]▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀[/color]
                                                {"[bold][head=1]THE RAGE CAGE[/head][/bold]"}
                    {"[color=#aaaaaa]▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬[/color]"}
                    {"[bold][color=#FF0000][head=3]DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT?[/head][/color][/bold]"}
                    {"[bold][color=#FF0000][head=3]DO YOU WANT TO WIN?[/head][/color][/bold]"}
                    {"[bold][color=#FF0000][head=3]DO YOU WANT TO DOMINATE?![/head][/color][/bold]"}



                    Then come on down to... [color=#FF0000][bold][head=2]THE RAGE CAGE[/head][/bold][/color]



                    Hidden in the depths of your local Nanotrasen station is the patented [color=#FF0000][bold]RAGE CAGE[/bold][/color]. An electrified fighting arena designed for only the strongest of fighters, the [color=#FF0000][bold]RAGE CAGE[/bold][/color] seperates the Wimps from the Warriors, the Scrubs from the Soldiers, and the Losers from the Winners.
                    ──────────────────────────────────────────
                    In the [color=#FF0000][bold]RAGE CAGE[/bold][/color] there is only one rule: [italic]Two fighters enter. One fighter leaves. [/italic]
                    ──────────────────────────────────────────
                    No weapons, no armor, just pure unadulterated [bold]COMBAT[/bold]. Don't lose out and be a [bold]WIMP[/bold]. Win the glory of being your station's most robust fighter in the [color=#FF0000][bold]RAGE CAGE[/bold][/color] today!

delivery-spam-10 =  DO NOT OPEN THIS MAIL
    .desc =         You have been cursed!
    .content =      [color=#FF0000][bold][head=2]STOP[/head][/bold][/color]

                    If yore reading this letter...[color=#FF0000][head=3]YOUR ALRAEDY CURSED!!![/head][/color]

                    Im sorry to do this to you but I have to warn you about:

                            {"[color=#FF0000][head=1]The Ghost of The Bloody Lizardd[/head][/color]"}

                    It all started when i to got a letter in the mail: it was a scary image of a lizard plushie with BLOODY EYES staring RIGHT AT ME. the letter said I was cursed...and if I didn't send this letter to 30 people within 30 days then the Blood Lizard would come in the middle of the night...

                    {"[italic]and KILL ME.[/italic]"}

                    im sorry......but your one of the 30 people i have to send this too..and now yoor cursed too...

                    please send this letter to 30 other people to stop the curse! you can still save yorself! theres still time! don't let the bloody lizard get you too, and take this thingie! it will keep you safe from dark spiirts...[head=3]FOR NOW[/head]




                    {"[head=1]OH NO THERE IT IS!!!!!!!![/head]"}

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delivery-spam-11 =  Help mom and dad!
    .desc =         Parents in need of financial support.
    .content =      [bold]Hello Child,[/bold]
                    This is your Parents writing to you: we are in need of money! Our taxes have been audited and we owe $100,000 in spesos to governnment! please help! they only want gift cards so you will need to send us 100 $1000 spesos Bisa gift cards.

                    please mail to:
                    50192 Spess Lane
                    Station City, Ignius 40195-243
                    Gamma Quadrant
                    Guilimin System

                    if we do not get this money in 10 days then the govertment will come to take away childhood home and we will be homeless.

                    {"[bold]thank you and we love you,[/bold]"}
                    {"[italic]parents[/italic]"}

delivery-spam-12 =  Join us on the maiden voyage!
    .desc =         Advertisement for a relaxing voyage.
    .content =      [head=2]Join us on the maiden voyage of the...[/head]

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                    {"[bold]══════════════════════════════════════════[/bold]"}

                    The latest in Comfortech™ and the most beautiful sights this side of the Iraxsi System! The [italic]SS Relaxor[/italic] is a state of the art luxury Cruiser taking you on the journey of a lifetime!

                    {"[head=3]Experience the phosphorous lakes of Galimar* from the comfort of our LuxuCabins™ with the all the modern amenities you could ever wish for![/head]"}

                    {"[head=3]Gaze in awe at the Eye of the Cosmos** while enjoying meals from our Five Star Galaxy class chefs![/head]"}

                    {"[head=3]Explore the ruins of Agathar***, now open to the public with the assistance of Nanotrasen's top Scientists. All the mysteries of the old Agatharian civilization are excavated and displayed for your viewing pleasure![/head]"}

                    For the low, low cost of $5,000 spesos a night, the six month luxury cruise could be yours for the vacation of your dreams! Call us today at [color=#00FF00]RELAX-NOW[/color] to book your cruise. Don't wait! Act now!






                    {"[italic]*Phosphorus lakes are not for swimming, you waive all rights to legal representations with Relaxination Destinations upon landing on Galimar.[/italic]"}
                    {"[italic]**Eye of the Cosmos must not be looked at for longer than five seconds at a time. You do not hear the call of the Eye.[/italic]"}
                    {"[italic]***Must sign safety waiver before landing, Relaxination Destinations does not guarantee the safety of the Agatharian ruins. Disappearances of tour groups are down to an acceptable margin of 0.23% of all tour groups that visit the ruins.[/italic]"}

delivery-spam-13 =  paper
    .desc =         A letter to the editor.
    .content =      To whom it may concern,

                    The famous Adventures of Ian and Renault book series is one that is enjoyed by young children and at least one severely dyslexic lizard (don't worry, I got better). However, there was an error in the publication, as Ian and Renault would never make a mistake writing. It appears that in The Adventures of Ian and Renault: An Arctic Journey of Courage and Friendship, two lines from The Adventures of Ian and Renault: Exploring the City were used.
                    This made no sense. How did Ian and Renault find a little kitten in the Arctic? What was the little kitten doing there? Why were Ian and Renault doing more than average today? And the worst offender is the second misplaced line, which is "As the day turned to night, they were exhausted abut happy from their adventure in the city" (Ian and Renault, 1). OH, SORRY!!! I'M NOT AWARE THAT THERE'S A CITY IN THE ARCTIC!!! THAT THEY JUST STOPPED AT. YOU KNOW. FOR A COFFEE. OH WAIT!! COFFEE KILLS DOGS AND FOXES!!!!!!!!! WHO WOULD PUBLISH THIS!!!!! YOU'VE JUST KILLED IAN AND RENAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    And what did you get for killing Ian and Renault. Hmm? A slightly longer book? You need that longer book, don't you? Longer books sell for more, do they? You wanted to make more money? 
                    LOOK AT WHERE THAT GOT YOU. YOU'VE KILLED THE TWO. CONGRATS. 
                    THERE WILL BE NO MORE SEQUELS NOW. 
                    HOW'S THAT FOR MAKING MONEY???? IT SUCKS???? 
                    {"["}bold]WELL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE KILLED THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/bold]
